This blog started out as a deeply personal – even private – messy, ad-hoc experiment in reconnecting with my passion for writing. The idea was planted by an ‘old friend’ last September. She said to me:
“Dear Sam. I’ve put some serious thought into how best to tell you this. I’m sure that at the end of the day until u come to this on your own – the absolute truth shall not sink in. In the spirit of the masked avenger, your creativity & passions. It should be plain to see. You need to write and maintain an annonomous [sic] agitating political blog. Love Emma”
FYI - the ‘masked avenger’ is a reference to my mild obsession with Batman.
This was a shove from someone who believed in me more than I believed in myself and – not just because it was linking me with Batman – I was more than a little flattered and motivated by it.
Much as I love politics though (check in on my Twitter feed during QandA), there are plenty of better informed people and insightful people blogging in that sphere. So I continue to explore what this blog actually is; what the primary theme or issue is, if indeed there is one, and I started with some random ramblings that, with any luck, I’ll look back on some day with (more) disgust (than I currently do).
Initially, I kept it under the radar – I don’t think I ever even told Emma about it. Enjoying the anonymity of a blog read by no-one I knew, in fact almost no-one at all, I took the opportunity to get a large weight off my chest and write a lengthy account on my life with depression.
That post was the first I actually promoted - through Twitter where, as here, I don't use my surname and am followed by very few people who actually know me. But it’s still by far the most viewed post I’ve written, and the most soul-baring. It also led to an appearance on Hungry Beast discussing my OCD, largely ending my lonely secrecy, and related embarrassment, of hiding my condition. I then released a deep sigh of relief in all circles of my life with friends, family and some work colleagues now knowing the basic details.
Still, the only posts Facebook saw were the less personal ones that I was sufficiently comfortable with, but I was no longer being too fussed about what else the clickers might find here.
Finally, a couple of weeks ago, in a somewhat narcissistic attempt to boost visits, I quietly included this blog in my Facebook profile information as my website. Since then I’ve been interested to see if any visits came here through Facebook; none, until the weekend when two came through.
Unfortunately for me, I don’t know who steps into my confessional booth. I figure distant acquaintances won’t be looking through that profile information and I do know of one person who came here via Facebook and, through the blog, found me on Twitter – someone I don’t keep in touch with much anymore, but am stoked found something of interest in my writing.
I’m becoming more and more comfortable with all of this; being more open about my thoughts and experiences, and my ongoing efforts to maintain good mental health. I'm doing so quite well, just so you know!
Not everyone will understand things written on these pages, but bless those who do, or at least try, and bugger those who don’t.
I’m also coming to realise is that if this blog does develop a dominant theme mental health is the most likely candidate. After all it is probably what I know most about, is something I am passionate about, and I’m keen to share my experiences with others.
So it will only get more personal I suppose.
I don’t know who is reading, and some who do may be known to me and get more than they bargained for!
If you came here via Facebook, I’d love to know that you stopped by and now know some of my open secrets. But you don’t need to tell me if you don’t wanna :o)
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